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Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Check your broadband line quality..

Test your Internet line quality to locations around the world with this interactive ping test.
 

http://www.pingtest.net/

 

Posted in Computers and Internet | 3 Comments

Speed up BT broadband by 50-100%.

Improving your BT Line based Broadband Speed and reliability – Isolate the Bellwire!

The original web article from which so many others took their inspiration!

http://cid-c6e2e721fd7ba765.skydrive.live.com/self.aspx/Public/BroadbandBellwire.pdf

Now do that fix and get your speed up to megs!

I went from 1.5 meg to 8 meg…

 

Posted in Computers and Internet | Leave a comment

Economic Models … explained with cows


SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away…

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

VENTURE CAPITALISM – AN ICELANDIC CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated
general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island
Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven
cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows,
with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States,
leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then
buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty
times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy….

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive

NATIVE AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows granted to your tribe by the government.
You can’t
have them due to reservation policy.
You decide to get drunk and pass
out under a bridge.

Irish Republican Corporation

You have 2 cows.

They blow up the milking shed with Iranian semtex.
They blame the British & the Protestants for their bad milk.
The cows get into government and milk everyone dry!

Posted in News and politics | Leave a comment

Iran threatens the west with weapons of mass destruction.

I wouldn’t worry mate, its just idol threats.
The west would wipe Iran out with one shot, see:
 
This is a long exposure photo showing the paths of the multiple re-entry vehicles deployed by the missile. One Peacekeeper can hold up to 10 nuclear warheads, each independently targeted. Were the warheads armed with a nuclear payload, each would carry with it the explosive power of twenty-five Hiroshima-sized weapons.
And these are the old retired weapons, god knows the power of the latest version.!
So Iran fires one weapon and kills 1000’s, the west fires one weapon and kills all Iran, the Iranians ain’t that mad are they?
Its only a political jibe on the forth coming meeting with the UN.
Its the west you should worry about m8, not the Iranians.!
 
We want Peace? its not going to happen, the oil is running out and there are currently 15 ongoing wars now, most within muslim countries..
My country has just come out of a 50 year war, there is some peace now for 5 years..
So I know what it is like to live in a coutnry at war.
 
And Iran threatens us with 2 maybe 3 rockets they have..
Look what these countries have..
I grew up during the cold war, we don’t need Iran starting another.
    The United States: Nearly 12,000 nuclear weapons are located in 14 states. New Mexico, Georgia, Washington, Nevada, and North Dakota are the top five and account for about 70 percent of the total. The other nine are Wyoming, Missouri, Montana, Louisiana, Texas, Nebraska, California, Virginia, and Colorado. The number of U.S. nuclear weapons in Europe has shrunk dramatically, from over 6,000 of many types in the early 1980s to some 150 B61 bombs at ten air bases in seven countries (Belgium, Germany, Greece, Italy, Netherlands, Turkey, and the United Kingdom) by the end of 1997. The United States is the only country with nuclear weapons deployed outside its borders.
   
Russia: Some 22,500 weapons are deployed at about 90 sites in Russia. In a little-appreciated logistical feat, Soviet, and then Russian, members of the 12th Main Directorate consolidated, over the past decade, a far-flung arsenal of tens of thousands of nuclear weapons at hundreds of locations in Eastern Europe and 14 republics to under a hundred sites in Russia today.
   
Great Britain: The British stockpile is about to be composed of a single weapon type — the Trident II missile on Vanguard-class submarines.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vanguard_class_submarine
 
By the end of March 1998, the last WE 177 gravity bombs are scheduled to be retired, and the Tornado bombers that once carried them will have only conventional missions.
   
France: The French stockpile totals some 450 warheads of three types at four locations, down from a dozen bases at the beginning of the 1990s.
   
China: The Chinese stockpile is estimated at about 400 located at some 20 sites.
 
And to date there have been over 1000 nuclear weapons tested in the world.
 
And everyones worrying about one Iranian weapon, for gods sake everyone wise up and open your eyes…
 
Posted in News and politics | Leave a comment

illegal cable!

  • Ned : This guy wants to hook me up with illegal cable.
    Homer : What’s the world coming to? … Got to go.[runs after the cable truck] … STOP!

  • Lisa : Dad, are you sure this is legal?
    Homer : Read the pamphlet, Lisa. [illegal cable].

  • How can such a small installation bring so much happiness? [illegal cable].

  • Bart, you can’t watch that channel. It’s for mommies and daddies who love each other very much.
  • Sorry to interrupt your JUDGING me. I have two things to say. One, I’ll disconnect the cable after this fight is over. Two, I am not fond of any of you.
  • Posted in Laughter | Leave a comment

    I am Mr.Popular!

    Oh I get it. When I was crushing and killing you, I was a bad guy. Now when I have to save your lives, I am Mr.Popular.
    Lenny : That’s pretty much it.
    Homer : Oo whoo! I am Mr.Popular!
    Posted in Laughter | Leave a comment

    Can you pee in it?

    Karma ceuticals woman : This is the sensory depravation tank. It blocks all the external stimuli that bombards our souls.
    Homer : Can you pee in it?
    Posted in Laughter | Leave a comment

    something people need!

    Scientist : You find something people need and invent something to satisfy that need.
    Homer : like …
    Scientist : Or take something that exists and find a new use for it.
    Homer : HAMBURGER EARMUFFS!!!
    Posted in Laughter | Leave a comment